


Haikyuu Wall of Shame

by SpaceGirl2002



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, M/M, No Plot, Wall of Shame, just for fun, quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-10-11 02:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10452669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceGirl2002/pseuds/SpaceGirl2002
Summary: I decided to keep track of all the stupid shit I say all day, and after a while I was thinking, what if the Haikyuu characters said this?Then this happened.This is basically just a crack book, but I do hope you enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

_"I keep my promises like I keep my friends."_  
-Kenma Kozume  
_"What friends?"_  
-Lev Haiba  
_"Exactly."_  
-Kenma Kozume

 

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:15pm)_


	2. II

_"If I had a dollar for every friend I had I'd have zero dollars."_

-Ushijima Wakatoshi

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 on 9:15 pm)_


	3. III

_"Robert Pattinson and I have something in common. We both want to be dead."_

-Ennoshita Chikara

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:22 pm)_


	4. IV

_*In response to 20 Dollar Nosebleed by Fall Out Boy*_

_"Why pay 20 dollars for a nosebleed when I can give myself one for free?"_

-Terushima Yūji

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:24pm)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should expect a few more song references in the future. This is a great song btw, it reminds Of of the s3 ending theme.


	5. V

_"I can't even add right how the hell am I supposed to add up my life?"_

-Iwaizumi Hajime

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:37 pm)_


	6. VI

_"Party Poison's dead and so am I."_

-Tsukishima Kei

 

 

 

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:40 pm)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- So the story behind this was that I was listening to music late at night, I think it was Danger Days, honestly one of my favorite MCR albums, and Party Poison starts playing and then I remembered the SING music video and I stopped for a few seconds and said that with the most monotone voice ever.


	7. VII

_"The only light I'll ever see won't be from heaven, but the small blackout of a disappointing face palm."_

-Daichi Sawamura

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:43 pm)_


	8. VIII

_"'Cross my heart and hope to die'? Guess who's breaking promises from now on?"_

-Oikawa Tooru

 

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17 at 9:45 pm)_


	9. IX

_*In response to Tear In My Heart by Twenty One Pilots*_

_"If my taste in music is your face then you can already tell I like shitty songs."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Friday February 17, 2017 at 9:48 pm)_


	10. X

_"I cannot express my level of sadness while listening to "Always" by Panic! At The Disco because Ryan left and it's "always" gonna be like that. Ha ha ha. Kill me."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:51 pm"_


	11. XI

  
_*In response to The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy*_

_"If I actually was a brick dragging you down we'd both be in Hell by now."_

-Kuroo Tetsurou

_(Originally said on Friday, February 17, 2017 at 9:27 pm)_


	12. XII

_"Why have a normal wish when you can have a death wish?"_

  
-Oikawa Tooru

_-9:57 am Saturday, February 18, 2017_


	13. XIII

_"I'm not sober enough to understand why life sucks."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 10:58 pm)_


	14. XIV

_"Mikey's dead and so am I."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 11:30 am)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was listening to The Ghost of You and I realized.  
> Mikey is never coming home.


	15. XV

_"If I suffer, you suffer. Suffer buddies!"_

-Kageyama Tobio to Hinata Shouyou

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 12:05 pm)_


	16. XVI

_"All aboard the guilt trip train! Next stop, remorse!"_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 1:35 pm)_


	17. XVII

_"If there's a sniper out there, I give you my permission to kill me."_

-Akaashi Keiji

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 1:40 pm)_


	18. XVIII

_"Play it off with salt. Wait don't, playing it off with salt is the exact opposite of what you wanna do."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 2:01 pm)_


	19. XIX

_"If I had a dollar for every person I've wanted to kill, I'd be a millionaire by now."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 4:30 pm)_


	20. XX

_"My setter's prettier than his."_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017, time not recorded.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the original line was "My dog is prettier than her's" and I thought it'd be better if I changed it up


	21. XXI

__

  
_*In response to the slow cashiers at a store*_   
_"If I worked here I'd go as slow as them too."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 4:48 pm)_


	22. XXII

_*In response to goats invading party and cake going missing*_   
_"I can't believe it's not butter ."_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said in Saturday, February 19, 2017 at 7:30)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I wouldn't even bothering asking how I say this stupid shit


	23. XXIII

~~~~__

_"What jumps higher than a building?"_

-Kageyama Tobio

_"Me jumping to conclusions."_

-Hinata Shouyou

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 7:54 pm)_


	24. XXIV

_"Give me sleep or give me death, but sleep is death without the commitment."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 18, 2017 at 9:41 pm)_


	25. XXV

_"I drink to forget, but what if I could forget to drink?"_

-Daichi Sawamura

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 7:31 pm)_


	26. XXVI

_"My life's so fucked up it reminds me of a telenovela."_

-Yaku Morisuke

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 7:36)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching Jane The Virgin and this happened, along with the next one.


	27. XXVII

_"My life's so messed up and dark that I'm surprised they haven't made a telenovela out of it."_

-Ennoshita Chikara

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 7:37 pm)_


	28. XXVIII

_"I remember when I was real depressed one day I laid down on my bed and sang the stupid 100 bottles of beer on the wall and when I was done I whispered 'One day'."_

-Akaashi Keiji

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 17, 2017 at 7:45 pm)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys so much for 1k hits! I honestly never thought it'd get this many hits! Thank you so much!


	29. XXIX

_"'Friendly game of Monopoly' is a sentence I've never heard of because all I hear are the lies of a snake."_

-Oikawa Tooru

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 7:49)_


	30. Chapter 30

_"I'm free to say I can play Monopoly whenever I want."_

-Oikawa Tooru

_"But Monopoly, along with Uno, destroy friendships."_

-Kageyama Tobio

_"What friends? Now shut the hell up Tobio-chan before I plus four your ass."_

-Oikawa Tooru

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 7:50 pm)_


	31. XXXI

_"I am proud to say I'm not an expert in black mail, but I do aspire to be one."_

-Hanamaki Takahiro

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 8:22 pm)_


	32. XXXII

_"Do snakes have feelings? Does Daishou have feelings?!"_

-Oikawa Tooru

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 8:27 pm)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally it was Taylor Swift but eh


	33. XXXIII

_"I should never be allowed to play Mario Kart because I will cuss anyone out. You pick Yoshi? Unfollowed, reported, blocked, unfriended, I don't know you! Bye! Ciao! Adios! Sayonara! Hasta la vista! Te llamavas!"_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 9:22 pm)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the last part of that quote from this movie I was watching, or more like the movie my cousin forced me to watch but it's still good.


	34. XXXIV

_"I don't think I murdered your family in the last few days, so why are you mad at me?"_

-Miya Atsumu

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 9:33 pm)_


	35. XXXV

_"I'd die for myself because then I'd be dead."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 9:47 pm)_


	36. XXXVI

_"I'm ready to murder everyone in this room right now, including myself."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 19, 2017 at 9:54 pm)_


	37. XXXVII

_"It's only Tuesday and I already want to die."_

-Akaashi Keiji

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 7:49 am)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky it's Friday/ the weekend


	38. XXXVIII

_"She looks like a washboard cause she's flat"_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 9:44 am)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never talk out loud during a movie in PE


	39. XXXIX

_"I regret going to BNOC. And my life."_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 11:41 am)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BNOC is a camp I went to where I wasted a few days of my life.


	40. XL

_"It hurt my non existent feelings Kuro!"_

-Kenma Kozume

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 12:33 pm)_


	41. XLI

_"Are doves just white pigeons?"_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 8:11 pm)_


	42. XLII

_"You're saying words of wisdom with deep meaning and everyone's looking at you in awe and understanding and they're clapping and there's this one dude that says 'Isn't that a song?' Like bitch, it might be."_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said on Wednesday, February 23, 2017 at 6:40 am)_ __


	43. XLIII

_"I've been listening to Time Warp on repeat for the past hour and I have no regrets."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Wednesday, February 22, 2017 at 6:31 pm)_


	44. XLIV

_"Punk's not dead bitch."_

-Kuroo Testurou

_(Originally said on Thursday, February 23, 2017 at 12:46 pm)_


	45. XLV

_"Somebody once told me the world was gonna-"_

-Nishinoya Yuu

_"End you."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_"Okay."_

-Nishinoya Yuu

_(Originally said on Thursday, February 23, 2017 at 4:45 pm)_


	46. XLVI

_"The only thing I'd fall for would be money, and that's only because there's too much money that I'd fall over."_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said on Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 12:11 pm)_


	47. XLVII

_"Hi I'm salty."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_"Salty isn't a name."_

-Hinata Shouyou

_"I know it isn't, I'm just saying I'm salty."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 4:17 pm)_


	48. XLVIII

_*sarcastically*_

_"Yeah totally, tell me about your date."_

-Yamaguchi Tadashi

_"Are you being fake?"_

-Tsukishima Kei

_"Honey the only thing fake about me is my self esteem."_

-Yamaguchi Tadashi

_(Originally said on Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 4:30 pm)_


	49. XLIX

_"Why did you think I had fish?"_

-Oikawa Tooru

_"Because you're susfishious!"_

-Hanamaki Takahiro

_(Originally said on Monday, February 27, 2017 at 1:38 pm)_


	50. L

_"My earbuds are like my sanity._

_I lost both of them."_

-Tsukishima Kei

_(Originally said on Monday, February 27, 2017 at 6:03 pm)_


	51. LI

_"Are doves just white pigeons?"_

-Bokuto Koutarou

_(Originally said on Tuesday, February 21, 2017 at 8:11 pm)_


	52. LII

_"If I had as many friends as I did noodles I would be one hell of a person with friends "_

-Yamaguchi Tadashi

_(Originally said on Wednesday, March 1, 2017 at 11:27 am)_


	53. LIII

_"Riverdale is stupid but I still wanna watch it."_

\- Nishinoya Yuu

_"I like watching Riverdale because of Cole Sprouse."_

\- Kageyama Tobio

_(Originally said on Wednesday, March 1, 2017 at 11:34 am)_


End file.
